Is it bad that I don't drink anymore? if your not gonna read don't bother?

I honestly understand where your coming from. But, i think the biggest problem here is that you feel the need to "escape". If you actually are seeking advice I think you should go talk to a drug/alcohal counselor or possibly a diversion cl. Im not at all saying that your a bad person, but it seems to my like you on a path of spiraling out of control.