I HATE his friend, need help dealing with their friendship and having to have her in my life?

if what you say other people think of her is true and not your interpretation then you'd better out your foot down with your boyfriend. he may feel he owes her something for helping him get through in the past but the problem is she's trying to keep him in the past. when you help a buddy through a trauma and get too close you have to let go of the friendship because they will always remember their pain when they see you..she knows this is the score and is desperately trying to hold on to the past but now you're there...you have every right after a year to tell him to stop the friendship or else..it is upsetting you and he should be putting you first. if he's putting her first then he's interfering with her relationship with her partner and i would be very suspicious. you may have to walk away from him because if this continues and he keeps belittling your feelings and forcing you to accept this situation you will get depressed and ill..i've been thorough something similar...if she's a genuine friend and cares for him she'll stand back and out..in my case he was trying to control me so he could continue having an affair with her and used my upset as an excuse to her partner to spend time together..i nearly lost my marbles with all the deceit and game playing the two of them went to to hide their sordid affair..i'm not saying this is your case but at what cost are you prepared to let any man treat you bad. you deserve better and he sounds like a little boy not a real man..time to commit to you or let you go to find the love of your life while you still have some heart left...I did and I'm now sooo happy...no games, no interfering friends and he chooses me every time..thing is it never comes to that cos we both value our relationship to much. good luck and stay strong