Any suggestions on what to do?

My whole life Ive had to try and be a completely different person to feel somewhat normal. Other people have shunned who I really am and Ive had to put on a mask to make my life a little more bearable. I feel that society has a gun pointed at my head and that its forcing me to live the way it wants me to live. My parents, the government, my peers, and other various entities make up the single force behind the so called gun. My parents have pushed me into the direction of a career I dont want to be in, but I followed their orders to make them happy as well as to avoid any negative reactions. The government and society have both set forth guidelines I should follow to reach a supposed success, and I completely disagree with these guidelines. My peers have set an image I should maintain in order to become part of this so called favorable group of people, but that certain image isnt who I really am, yet no one will accept the person I wish to be. The few things that I find some solace in are the recreational use of various drugs, listening to music, and fishing. Honestly, if I could do these things for however long I am alive, I would be completely satisfied, yet those forces behind that imaginary gun threaten to fire if I dare to venture into my own comfort zone. Im at complete war with my surroundings, and Ive become paralyzed with fear and discontent. Does anyone out there have any suggestion or guidance? Also, please dont tell me that Im a drug addict and that I have mental problems. Im an educated and logical man, but I just cant find the answer to this problem thats consumed me for 13 years.